Those of you who know Mo and me know that we LOVE our nieces and nephews. God has blessed us with a big, amazing, faithful family, and part of that family is our sweet nieces and nephews. Their ages are 4, 3, 2, and 1. They crack us up with their stories, the faces they make, their food preferences, everything! They touch us with their cuddles and even with their dramatic crying (ahem, Nora) when their Mommy lets us babysit.
So, what’s this about new nephews? There is one more nephew on his way, set to be born here in Nashville sometime at the beginning of March. It is such a blessing to see my big sister become a Mommy again. I mean, it’s totally different from playing house while Mom makes dinner, but it’s much more fun. Being a part of the journey of pregnancy and infancy is beautiful. If my sister lets me, I’ll post a little update when nephew #3 on my side is born.
There is also one more nephew on his way, set to be here probably in the next year or so. He’s an orphan in Ethiopia, and Mo’s precious brother, Nathaniel and his wife, Ashley, are going to adopt him! They’ve already named him Nolan, and that makes it more of a connection for thinking and praying about him, I’ve realized. Witnessing the journey of adoption is amazing; the process could be described as prayers, patience, and paperwork! For updates on Nathaniel & Ashley’s adoption progress, and how you can help them bring Nolan home to his forever family (including his awesome new aunt & uncle – us!), check their blog Standing Together.
We are so excited for these new additions to our families. We’re praying for so many special babies and families lately; please pray for them, too, if you think of it!
The first time I remember reading Psalm 13 was senior year of college. It was fall semester, and I was in Psalms class with Dr. Matheny. Part of the coursework was to read every single Psalm in the Bible before the semester was up. It was my last semester of college, and some major things were going on… I had moved back home to be a day student, many of my friends had moved on to jobs or graduate school, I was deciding the when/where/why answers regarding graduate school, I was looking toward graduation, and oh, yeah, I was also struggling with a dark, anxiety-driven depression. That semester is an absolute miracle, and I have told many people how I’m not sure I would have passed that semester if I hadn’t been living at home with my parents and little brother. It was a tough time, punctuated with times of intense joy. It was my other brother’s first semester playing football at Ohio, and we took a number of family road trips. Those are some of the most vivid, hilarious family memories I have! My sister had fallen in love with her now husband, and on one of the road trips, we teased Dad with talking about weddings and by looking at bridal magazines. My youngest brother was living it up with WMS football (and he was not quite taller than me yet!). Some of my best friends were definitely best friends that few months, but I hardly remember anything that happened. Anyhow, all that to say, my dark, anxiety-driven depression had redemptive days, weekends, moments, etc., but it was a heavy burden nonetheless. I learned through self-work and counseling that much of it was rooted in my perfectionism, in my idea that unless I could do everything possible without mistakes or doubts, then it was worthless. Also, I’m just not good at transitions and anticipating change. I like to think of myself as spontaneous, but I really prefer to know what’s coming so that I can plan accordingly. Obviously, God doesn’t give us a week-by-week or hour-by-hour itinerary for life, and I kind of wanted one. I wanted specific instructions (i.e., not, “abide in me,” but, “abide in me by going to xyz graduate school in x # of months;” not, “take my yoke upon you,” but, “take my yoke upon you by serving in abc role at y job.” Anyway, I’m still not great at change and I still have dark moments, but I have learned that we will be fine without a detailed plan from above.
One absolutely amazing blessing in the journey over the past seven years was bumping into Psalm 13. The psalm wrestles with the unlikely convergence of pain and praise, the idea that our struggles are not indicative of any absence on God’s part. That fall seems like it was many, many years ago. Since then, my journey has encountered the pain of cancer, death, people I love being far, far away, people I love struggling with dark or confusing illnesses, and on and on… through each of these situations, this psalm rings true.
1 How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me? 2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
3 Look on me and answer, LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death, 4 and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
5 But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation. 6 I will sing the LORD’s praise,
for he has been good to me.
What I find so crucial in this psalm is that true, confusing, heavy pain is answered with the confidence of praise. It reminds me of a section of Lauren Winner’s book, Mudhouse Sabbath, that describes Jewish practices of mourning as a way for Christians to mourn more meaningfully. (The entire book examines traditional Jewish practices [hospitality, mourning, weddings, etc.] as they could inform similar Christian practices.) Anyhow, in the chapter on mourning, Winner describes how the prayer, the Kaddish, is prescribed to be recited twice a day, each day, for an entire year after the loved one has passed. The prayer includes the following:
Glorified and sanctified be God’s great name throughout the world which He has created according to His will. May He establish His kingdom in your lifetime and during your days…. May His great name be blessed forever and to all eternity…. Blessed and praised, glorified and exalted, extolled and honored, adored and lauded be the name of the Holy One….
That would be tough, right? I mean, it’s hard enough to sing Amazing Grace or listen to When I Get Where I’m Going during a funeral (not a dig, I love those songs), but having to pray that lofty prayer in the pit of grief? Whew. Winner has a fabulous reminder, though, that “Even in the pit, even in depression and loss and nonsense, still we respond to God with praise. This is not to say that the mourner should not feel what he feels – anger, disbelief, hatred. He can feel those things (and shout them out to God; God can take it). You do not have to feel praise in the intense moments of mourning, but the praise is still true, and insisting upon it over and over, twice a day every day, ensures that eventually you will come to remember the truth of those praises.” (36, emphasis mine)
Remembering that God is glorious, that God is worthy, that God is GREAT, even, is just one way to put perspective to my pain, to the pain of my friends’ struggle with co-dependency, divorce, illness, to the confusion of mistaken diagnoses, to unemployment, to death. These things hurt deeply; God knows that. It’s okay to pray in anger, but our anger does not diminish the eminence of God. These realizations and reminders have been vital to my peace over the past few years. The year after my dark semester mentioned above, Nate Hale, a friend from my Bible office days at Lipscomb, wrote a song based on Psalm 13. The first time I heard him perform this song, my soul was ablaze. It so perfectly captured the purposeful tension I’ve described above. I hope you relate to this song and can really know the truth of God’s goodness, even in the face of whatever minor pain or unspeakable tragedy that may be in your life right now.
I love food! I enjoy preparing food for us here at home, and I enjoy preparing it for others. Whether baking, cooking, or just throwing together whatever is on hand, I usually think it’s fun. I like eating food, savoring the unique flavors, relishing the comfort of familiar flavors, and experiencing shared meals with loved ones.
That said, I have a love/hate relationship with food. The occasions after which I’m on the hate side of the spectrum are usually related to boredom, sleepiness, excitement, anger, or stress. That’s just your above-average emotional eating. Sometimes, I just hate burning my tongue when testing something straight out of the pot. In case my Mom is reading this, I do acknowledge that hate is a strong word.
I also hate fighting emotional eating all of the time, though I’ve found great help (and a much healthier lifestyle) through attending my Weight Watchers meetings. Part of controlling this has allowed me to enjoy the love side of food a lot more. I can plan to go out to eat, modify my favorite recipes, and just flat-out eat brownies (read: brownie batter, milk, and brownies) if I choose to.
Another side of my new awareness and love relationship with food is acknowledging my food sources. Last spring, Mo and I joined a CSA (Community-Supported Agriculture). Our CSA farm is just about an hour from here, so each week we would get about a grocery basket FULL of local and organic produce. It was amazing! I struggled to use or freeze all of our squash and tomatoes, and sometimes I inaccurately gauged how many peppers I would actually use. Throwing out rotten produce made me sad. But in spite of that, for the farmer, for our health, for the environment, for our budget, and for my allergies, it was such a wise choice. That lasted from April through November, and I’ve been trying to buy organic produce more at the store the past couple of months. This is especially true for things like apples where we eat the peel and everything. I’m not huge on just eating squash, greens, and potatoes all winter, so I definitely buy non-local and non-organic produce, too (i.e., Mo and I both love bananas and they do NOT grow in Tennessee). I just make improvements where we’re okay doing so.
Along a similar vein, I have been trying to buy less meat, unless it is organic or free range or something. That doesn’t always happen, but this is just one thing I do when I can. We are eating less meat overall; we receive protein from beans, quinoa, and eggs. Before we had even been married one year, I told Mo that I would not buy chicken patties at the store anymore. I told him that I would buy chicken breasts or soy “chik’n” patties. He’s really not minded the switch to soy patties, and even really likes the spicy ones that Boca makes. There’s just something about that breaded and fried goodness that is enough to satisfy that taste! I mean, don’t we all need a little breaded and fried goodness in our lives? Oh, I also do not reject free meat that is not organic, like when Mo’s company gifted us with pounds upon pounds of meat from Omaha Steaks! (THANK YOU, WSMV!) After all, we are not independently wealthy folks.
Organic, local, and vegetarian options aside, I also love, LOVE baking! I love Pam Cookies, chocolate chip bundt cake, Kentucky Derby Pie, Italian Cream Cake, Mocha Crinkles, …. I mean, this could go on for a while. Maybe I just love delicious homemade baked goods. So you see, I’m clearly all about moderation!
I have been wanting to start blogging again, and I figured the best way to start was just to start. Thanks for hanging with me.
This past weekend, Mo and I had the opportunity to celebrate my 10-year high school reunion. Thankfully, Mo was able to have a few days off work and brave the events with me! I may have had low expectations going into the weekend, but I had a blast!
We kicked off the festivities with a tour of the school building. The most noticeable changes were the library and the gym. I guess the new chemistry lab was even new construction, but it seemed to fit in well (as in, I may not have noticed that it was new if the student body president hadn’t pointed it out!). While I’m on the subject, the student body president was amazingly nice, but he could not wrap his mind around the fact that we were 10-11 years older. It is a big deal; when we graduated high school he was 7 or 8. However, he would forget, and then when he realized something drastic (that the internet and dry erase boards were just becoming prevalent as we started high school), he would gasp or chuckle and say, “Really? Wow! I’m not trying to make an old joke, it’s just hard to think about!” Thanks, dude.
Following the school tour, we had a little tailgate party before the football game. I was SO excited about this game. It’s been three years since I’ve been to a high school football game, and I have missed it. After attending games for about 11 years, it’s hard to give up! Anyway, it was a total blow out despite Gallatin’s best efforts against our victorious Bruins. In fact, Mo was keeping his eye on Gallatin’s #55 Trey Haynes and #8 Maurice Cox. I’m keeping their names recorded here for posterity. They were that good, “Men among boys,” as Mo said.
From the game, we went to an “after-party” at Tin Roof 2 in Cool Springs. One of our fellow alum, Tony, is part owner or something, and he arranged for us to have the entire upstairs with specials. Anyway, more folks showed up for that portion and there was even a proposal. Congrats Joy and Don!
Saturday, I got a mani/pedi with Mary Susan and Lisa, and it was so awesome to catch up. (Thanks to Trang and Co. for letting us stay for 2+ hours!) That night, our “main event” for the reunion was at The Crow’s Nest in Green Hills. The place had a good vibe and I got to see so many more people. I had lost touch with some friends who live nearby, so I look forward to catching up with them over the next few weeks and months.
After weeks of stifling heat, autumn has settled over Middle Tennessee for the week. It is a delightful feeling to step out into comfortable temperatures. As one of my friends noted Sunday night, “After the summer we’ve had, I never thought I’d feel cold again!” Many cities and states around the country experienced abnormal summers; we had flooding, severe heat, and drought. (After the flooding, I never thought we’d need rain again – it’s kind of like waking up hungry the morning after Thanksgiving, I guess!) Anyhow, the air is crisp, the days are comfortable, and the evenings are cool. The pollen count is low. The days are getting shorter.
In addition to the 30 degree temperature drop we had over the weekend, Mo and I are getting hints of fall in our vegetable basket with our CSA. We have acorn squash, spaghetti squash, sunshine pumpkins, greens, and sweet potatoes – a true cornucopia of autumnal veggies! Today I ate acorn squash for both lunch and dinner. I just roasted it, then stirred in a smidge of butter (< 1 tsp.) and some dried thyme. It is absolutely delicious!
One day this week I’m going to make a roasted vegetable minestrone. I hope to double it and freeze some of it, sans pasta, for use later this season. I saw the recipe on The Pioneer Woman and decided I MUST make it soon!
One thing I love about our changing seasons is that it reminds me of how God cares for the earth. The ways in which he renews the trees and plants in spring are possible only through the burst of and then draining of life that occurs in fall. If God is this intentional about acorn squash and maple trees, how much more intentional are they about us, who are created in their image. What a beautiful realization and promise!
Thursday night, just after our small group wrapped up, Mo and I headed out to see Sean McConnell perform at the Exit/In. Mo, in his bright red tropical shirt, and me in a baggy black T-shirt, just left most of the dirty dishes and headed over for a great show. (Which, by the way are signs of the following: 1) Mo has calmed me down a bit and 2) he and I share kitchen tasks pretty equally!)
For anyone living in Texas, he’s making a big swoop through the Lone Star State over the next few weeks following a performance at tonight’s sold out White Sox game! Initially, we heard about Sean because Mo works with his bassist, Craig, sometimes at WSMV, but Mo has just really taken to Sean’s powerful voice and piercing lyrics. One of my favorite songs is “A Prayer You Can Borrow” from his recent Saints, Thieves, and Liars album. Since the point is to share it, here are some of the beautiful lyrics:
Come on, come on now, baby don’t cry
Hush now, hush now, we’ll be alright
Wait for the morning, it will be there
Hang on, hang on now tight to this prayer
The rising of the sun, burn away my sorrow
Chase away the night, and pull me to tomorrow
Fill in every part of my heart that is hollow
That’s a prayer you can borrow
I guess what speaks to me so much is the honesty of the darkness of night matched with the promise of a brighter tomorrow. Enjoy.
For Mo’s birthday every year, he typically takes some time off work for a long weekend. I think it’s a fabulous idea. For his birthday, I bought us passes to the Americana Music Festival showcase concerts, which basically means that for four nights, we got to attend any of five concerts in the city. Each concert featured three to five Americana musicians. Wednesday night, we saw The Steeldrivers at Music City Roots, which is at the Loveless Barn. Thursday night, we got to see Tommy Emmanuel, the world’s greatest guitarist and one of Mo’s musical heroes, at The Rutledge. Incidentally, our first date was at The Rutledge… and I didn’t know it was going to be a date, and our friends didn’t show up, and my ex-boyfriend was there, and Mo gave me The Departed as a Valentine’s Day present because our first date was on Valentine’s Day. Um, yeah, so none of this is relevant. Back to the birthday:
Wednesday, we ate at Loveless Cafe and saw The Steeldrivers. Check. Thursday, we ate steak and potatoes and four kinds of birthday dessert at Mom & Dad’s. Jeff and my Mom also have September birthdays, so we just did it up right! Dad baked potatoes, grilled steaks, and assembled veggies. Mom made pumpkin, chess, and chocolate chess pie. Amber brought a birthday cake from Iris’ Flour Shop for Mom. It was just all too much fun! And by fun, I obviously mean that I love desserts.
After the deliciousness and love that was the party at Mom & Dad’s, we headed downtown to The Rutledge. Tommy Emmanuel is one of only three Certified Guitar Players. He plays multiple parts at once, is rhythmic, is joyful, and is such an entertainer. Mo has some of his CDs and even bought his DVD off of an NPT special just to watch how he does what he does with “just” a guitar. Needless to say, it was a treat to watch him live.
Friday, we watched a lot of HGTV, saw Karate Kid (2010) at the dollar theatre, and had some Corn and Tomato Pizza. My go-go-go schedule must have been too much for him because he hit the sack before the concerts even started! Oh, well… sleeping as much as you want should be part of your birthday!
It’s been a treat for me to spend so much time with Mo and to see him enjoying all of this time where he can just do whatever he wants. Today, we spent a good part of the day with Nate, Ashley, and the girls. Now Mo is enjoying College Gameday. This is a rarity because Mo typically goes to bed during the first game of the day.
Our festival passes and my library book (because I wanted legitimate free library parking!)
The Steeldrivers
at Mom & Dad's - ready to party!
Mom with her cake
Harris helping Jeff blow out the candles. Jeff loves pumpkin pie!
Mo with his pie
Aren scratching Sarah's back - so funny
what I found when we left the boys unsupervised
What I found was this: a blanket over Mom’s trunk in the living room, Harlan on top of the trunk, Harris attempting to cover him up with a huge pillow from the couch (Covering oneself or another with a large pillow equals hiding in Harris’ book, so this cracked me up).
rare picture of Jeff & Amber
And…. ta-da!
Mo with Tommy Emmanuel
P.S. The artwork behind them was fabulous. I was so drawn to the guitar-tree painting.
Ava giving Mo his gift: a Dick Butkus (Chicago Bears) action figure
She picked it out herself. Ha! No, I’m just kidding. Nate went to ToysRUs to select the perfect gift for his big brother. We love you guys!
Happy Birthday, Mo!” You rock my world. You are absolutely amazing, and I am so blessed to be the one who gets to love you.”
I’m sure I don’t have all of the details straight, but I’m not the one who works in news around here. The basic story is this: A friend of a friend of my Dad’s had miniature horses that for some reason, she couldn’t keep anymore. Dad decided that yes, he did want miniature horses down at the farm.
The next thing I knew, Dad was spouting off facts about miniature horses and using what I can only assume is miniature horse lingo (having never really been around horses, I’m not certain).
Then, the next thing I knew after that, I was heading down to our farm to visit the itty-bitty things with the family. I should clarify that in the grand scheme of existence, miniature horses are still bigger than, say, My Little Ponies. They are still obviously so much smaller than your standard horse. They are super cute. Kid is the oldest, and is calm. Tinkerbell is younger, and is slightly fiesty, though during our visit she was very calm.
Pops, Nana, and the boys petting Kid
See how small they are?
What visit to the farm would be complete without a stop in on Grandpa and Ms. Sandra’s kitchen, where you’re sure to leave with a sugar rush?
Mo and I joined a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) this year. We’ve loved it! Our farmer, Andrew, runs Eco-Gardens, a farm in Scottsville, Kentucky, not even 10 miles from the Tennessee state line. He grows the vegetables hyper-organically, and we’ve really enjoyed the bounty. I can’t always cook all of the vegetables for the week, so I’ve given some away and have even frozen tomatoes, tomato sauce, and squash for the first time. In addition to supporting a local, organic farmer and eating local, organic produce, we’ve been more creative with our meals.
julienned vegetables
so much produce: watermelon, canteloupe, squash, corn, zucchini, tomatoes, beets, carrots, peppers, onions, potatoes
Tomato and Corn Pizza
I tried this Southern Living recipe on a whim, and with the knowledge that I had too many tomatoes and too much corn for everyday use. The week I took this picture, I also had fresh basil from Andrew’s farm. Mo was skeptical when I told him about the recipe (it’s vegetarian, has pesto instead of traditional sauce, has corn, etc.), but we both love it. I make it every couple of weeks; now it’s an old standby!
This Tuesday, I was delighted to have a pie pumpkin and sweet potatoes in our share. It’s beginning to look a lot like autumn!
Because I was up in Illinois with Mo’s Mom, I was sadly away from Mo on my actual birthday. However, Mo surprised me by having a gorgeous vase of flowers delivered first thing that morning. They were bright and summery, with lovely shades of purple, yellow, orange, and red. Charlotte had a cake made for Nate & me, since our birthdays are just 4 days apart. I squeezed in three pieces in 24 hours… 10 of which we weren’t even at the house with the cake. Yep, that’s me! My one sad side note is that I had prepped and packed my vase of flowers to bring home with me, and in our rush of leaving, I left them on Charlotte’s counter, not realizing it until we were an hour out of town. I cried and maybe still haven’t gotten over it. I am still so sad about it, maybe because I 1) didn’t take any pictures of the arrangement or card, and 2) didn’t feel like I totally got to enjoy them because that was such a crazy day. Who knows why I am still so sad about it? Maybe it’s a girl thing.
That night, we went out to eat at The White Chocolate Grill in Naperville, and it was delicious! The guys were absolute gentlemen and treated me to my meal (filet!) and my dessert (French White Chocolate Bread Pudding!). I was not at all expecting that – I was just going to treat myself since it was my birthday and Mo wasn’t there. Anyway, the meal was fabulous. White chocolate isn’t really my favorite (you know – it’s not real chocolate), but there was nothing wrong with that bread pudding. Instead of standard or even slightly sweet day old bread, they used croissants for the bread pudding. Yes, croissants. Anyway, it was a delightful way to cap off a long moving day.
When I got home, Mo had another treat for me. He gave me a gift certificate for a day at Blue River Canyon, a local day spa. Whew, that was such a perfect gift after a week of packing, moving, sorting, etc. up at his Mom’s! He knows me so well. I had a hydrotherapy soak, a customized facial, and a massage. I was at the spa for hours that day. Ahhhh….. Mo, it was just what I needed! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
The Thursday after my birthday, Mom and Dad had a family party at their house for Amber and me. Her birthday is the day after mine. Yes, we share birthdays, and we really love it (you know, now that we’re older!). Aren, Sarah, Jeff, and the little boys were also there to help us celebrate. We always have a great time just laughing and being together.
Mom & Dad's purple crepe myrtles that always bloom for our birthdays!
Harlan being silly
Dad sent me this picture of Amber and me blowing out our candles on this delicious strawberry cake! Thanks, Mom!
